I hate Boise State, or TJPO’s kickoff weekend recap
I can’t stand Boise State. And I’m not sorry about it. They’re no longer the plucky underdog Broncos who won the 2007 Fiesta Bowl. Now they’re just a bunch of cocky douchebags who play in a junior high conference and are force-fed to us by the national media.
Broncos, you don’t belong in BCS contention every year. You want respect? Why? Because you beat Oklahoma two years ago? A team that’s lost as many BCS games as anyone and didn’t give a shit because it was facing a team that plays on blue turf? You want respect because you beat Oregon? A team that’s going to finish in the middle of its conference? (By the way, that was the first time you hosted a ranked opponent since jumping to Division I-A in 1996. What took so long?)
I don’t want to hear about how Boise State is respectable because “they’ll play anybody.” Apparently “anybody” is relatively confined to the Oregon schools and Washington, three powerhouse poopsacks from the Pa-theti-c-10. The Broncos have to play those teams because everyone knows the WAC is whack. Boise State is a glittering 7-13 all-time against BCS conference teams. Penn State won nine games against BCS conference teams last season alone.
You piss me off, Boise State. I oughtta punch you in the face.
Oh wait, someone did it for me!
TJPO’S 2009 KICKOFF WEEKEND RECAP
Oklahoma quarterback Sam Bradford sprains his shoulder
Impressive win by Brigham Young, but this just plain sucks. Hopefully he’ll be OK.
JoePa sprains nothing as Penn State thumps Akron
Gotta love that 336-yard offensive discrepancy in the first half.
N.C. State and South Carolina play the most boring game ever
It was like a season premiere of Lost with Rose and Bernard flashbacks. Cue the frustrated Jack face.
Northern Iowa almost upsets the Hawkeyes
Jesus teases Kurt Warner, but they retain their friendship.
Ohio State squeaks past Navy
Those service academies are like thumbtacks on the road to the BCS.
Notre Dame showboats in carving up the nation’s worst pass defense
Memo to Central Michigan’s 119th-ranked secondary: The Golden Dome rejuvenation is COMING FOR YOU.
Lou Holtz is still a biased idiot
If he picks Notre Dame to make the BCS championship every year, he’s bound to be right eventually.
Oklahoma State finally gets that big win
We’re still waiting for that big conference win.
Matt Barkley is the master of the five-yard roll-out pass
Pete Carroll didn’t let him do much else Saturday afternoon. Maybe he’ll graduate to 10 yards in the Shoe.
Florida fails to cover that absurd 73-point spread
TIM TEBOW IS FALLIBLE AFTER ALL.
Alabama’s defense is vomit-inducingly good
It might be a decade before Virginia Tech is held to 155 total yards again.
Greg Paulus sucks at football, too
Did you see that interception? There’s more where that came from next weekend.
Tate Forcier throws three touchdown passes
That’s probably more than Michigan had in all of 2008.
The Illini are 0-5 against Missouri this decade. Might wanna stop playing them.
Baylor’s Robert Griffin is the man
After the holy trinity, he might be the nation’s fourth-best quarterback.
Washington might actually win a game this year
Yeah, yeah, LSU won the game. Whoopee. How bout Steve the Sark-dog Sarkisian and those Huskies?
Florida State and Miami still to play Monday night
Nobody cares anymore.
It was an entertaining opening weekend, one that purged the sporting world of the abysmal hemorrhoid known as baseball. I’m so happy right now I could cry.
Next week, Penn State destroys Syracuse, Michgan and Notre Dame get together to remember the good old days and the Trojans and Buckeyes do their dosey doe in Columbus.