Archive for March 2009

TJPO kindly asks that you pretend he’s not retarded

March 25, 2009

Turns out that Penn State’s first day of spring practice has been pushed back to Friday, as Adam Rittenberg, deacon of’s stellar Big Ten blog, informs us today.

Way to be on top of things, tjpo. That sure adds respectability to this blog.

In my defense, I’m so pumped for college football that I couldn’t contain myself. My spring storylines still stand, and you can still read them in the post below if you’d like.

If not, then just support the basketball team like the football team has chosen to do and pretend I’m not retarded. Really. Derp.


Spring forward, Happy Valley

March 25, 2009

Salutations, Nittany nation! College football fever is in the air as Penn State begins spring practice today.

It’s already been 83 days (!) since USC raped us in the Rose Bowl. Sorry for bringing up sour memories, but a program like Penn State should be on top every year, not taking a backseat to the Trojans and the Southeastern Conference elite.

Fear not, for the 2009 Nittany Lions are ready to hit the field and do something about it. There are only 163 days separating us from kickoff, and it’s really more like 184 days, because our nonconference schedule is softer than Ditka dick.

Here’s are some of the top spring storylines:

Penn St Iowa Football

Re-stocking the lines

The defensive line lost a couple early entrants to the NFL Draft. No big deal, because Larry Johnson spurned Illinois’ more lucrative offer to come back, and he has plenty of young talent coming back with him. The offensive line, which was gutted by graduation, will be trickier to mend. But hey, at least Rich Ohrnberger won’t be whiffing blocks anymore. Joke’s on you, team that picks him in the seventh round!


New batch of wideouts

Derrick Williams, Deon Butler and Jordan Norwood have been a collective symbol of our resurgence. We’re not going to “replace” them or their production, but there are a couple of bigger, more athletic targets who could take up their posts. And there’s always Graham Zug and Brett Brackett. Really, though, how many great white wide receivers can you name? Steve Largent, Fred Biletnikoff, Joe Jurevicius…and I’m spent.


Making the secondary a priority

Tony Davis won’t be sticking to his fundamentals this season, Lydell Sargeant won’t be speeding around the backfield and Anthony Scirrotto won’t be ending people’s lives. That’s OK. Maybe the reshuffled secondary will actually, I don’t know, be able to cover good receivers this year.



Be honest. You can’t wait to see Sean Lee back on the field alongside Navorro Bowman. And neither can I. The third linebacker spot is rather open, but maybe we’ll get radical and run a 5-2 or something, because these two are studs. Linebacker U? Linebacker U-betcha.

That’s it for now. There are other areas to address, but I’ll leave them to my fellow Blue White Football Podcast tenants, who, in stark contrast to me, actually speak in complete sentences and form cogent thoughts.